I think the world is a hectic, crazy place and sometimes you need to stand to your ground. With this statement, I am back to square one- what exactly is my ground. There are so many issues that I am so passionate about, and ready to fight for what I believe, but when it comes to myself, fighting for myself, I am left lifeless. I think a lack of self confidence may cause me to just always say Yes to everything. The word no does not suit me. It is something that I need to learn. I need to take things as they come, be ready to do what I want. I am so involved in what people think, what people expect, what people want from me, I put my wants, my needs aside. I am always intrigued by the people who life their life with this "screw all" attitude. The people who just do what they want, when they want, interest me. I envy them to a certain extent.
As I sit here, I know a few things about who I am. I am funny, a hopeless romantic, a dancer, a friend, a loving person. But those do not define me. They are labels. It is so generic to say, I am a friend. Everyone is a friend to someone. Anyone can be a hopeless romantic, a dancer.. what makes me stand out. This is what I am trying to find . A reason to be different, a reason to be confident, to not be so easily influenced. Life is full of surprises. Each and every day we have is a gift. A gift to have a different experience, to learn a different lesson. We may not realize it, but we would not be put in certain situations if we were not strong enough to make it thru them. I am still making it thru situations from my past that each and every day make me stronger, make me think twice about just how wonderful life is. I think I am going in the right path on the quest to find out who I am and where I belong, I just wish I was there. But that is where the all infamous saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day" comes into play. All good things take time, and I think in some time, I will be shaped into that person who I am meant to become. I will be able to stand up and say, yes I know who I am and where I belong...but for now, that is just a dream!